A time to reflect

This past week has been filled with tragedy, sadness, and uncertainty. The events that have happened in Boston have brought Americans together as a nation, and have taught us all what is really important in this life. At the time I'm posting this, one of the suspects is still at large. It's still unclear if this was a domestic or foreign act of terror, which is still causing a lot of panic throughout the country. 

I, like pretty much every other American, remember exactly where I was when I found out about the terrorist attacks of September 11. I was in Mrs. Bell's math class. I was in 8th grade. I was in a class with people I remain friends with to this day. I remember my mom picked my brother and I up from school and hugged both of us. Soccer practice was cancelled that afternoon. I went home and every channel had coverage from New York. Even ESPN had news coverage. I think at that time I was too young to really understand what was going on. I did understand that another country who didn't like us did something bad, and many people died. The next summer we went to New York and Boston for a baseball trip to watch the Yankees (my favorite team) and the Red Sox (my brothers favorite team.) I remember walking around in New York and walking past ground zero. I looked through the chain link fence to see nothing but concrete and some construction equipment. Farther down on the fence there were stuffed animals and posters with names on them. I started crying uncontrollably. I didn't know anyone who was killed or injured. I had no connection to New York. I can't explain to this day why I was crying. My mom put her arms around my shoulders and walked me away from where those two buildings had once stood. I returned to New York two years later and again stood behind the chain link fence surrounding ground zero, and this time I did not cry. Maybe it was because it was three years after it had happened, or maybe it was because I was older and understood more. I was more angry than sad the second time.

The bombings are different to me. Yes, it's still awful. But I think within hours of September 11, everyone knew who was responsible for it. This week, we still don't know if this was just two young men who hated America, or if they were sent my a terrorist organization. Obviously there was no one on the run after 9/11, and today the police are still looking for the second suspect responsible for placing the bomb. The news coverage is all over. Thirteen years of technology allows news to be delivered instantly to us. Social media especially seems to be playing a huge roll. I still can't figure out if it's a good or a bad thing. There have been lots of conflicting reports, and many that have been flat out wrong. 

Back to what I want this post to be about though. I think this week has made me realize how lucky I am to be safe, and that all the people I love are safe as well. My past two years away from my family and friends has developed some very strong bonds with the handful of people in my program. As graduate students, it was difficult to make any other friends, and now, looking back, I wouldn't have wanted any other friends. The people I spent practically every day with for two years are the best friends I could have ever asked for. 

(Graduation, May 2012)

I came to Clemson not knowing anyone. It was just me and my dog. Little did I know that I would meet some of the best people I would ever know. We supported each other through some difficult times. We helped each other in classes, through readings, research, and TA'ing. We spent our weekends together. We went to trivia almost every Wednesday. Some of us spent major holidays together with each other instead of with our families. We tailgated pretty much every Saturday during football season. We laughed, we cried, we celebrated. 

(Our first tailgate, 2010)

(Matt's basement, late 2011)

(Decorating Christmas cookies, including the Kate Middleton and Prince William cookie, December 2011)

During my thesis defense, my advisor asked me some questions about what I had learned over the course of two years. I answered that I head learned how to become a better writer, how to skim a book, how do research, etc. I learned who Ben Tillman was. I learned what Marine training was like. 

But I also learned more about myself and whats iportant in life. I met the best people I have ever known. Genuine, sincere, always helping me be my best. I learned compassion. I learned that during the most trying times, my friends would always be there. I learned that Mallory can smell the difference between diet coke and regular coke. I learned that Michael can sleep in a bathtub. I learned that Matt knows a little bit about literally everything. I learned Parissa loves British royalty so much that she would make a video to try to go to the royal wedding. I learned Madeleine knows all the best places to get Lily Pulitzer on sale. I learned that Justin is a mean drum player. I learned I truly have the best friends I could have ever asked for. 

(Buffalo Wing Fest, September 2012)

(Backstreets, Summer 2012)

(Ryan and Michael on Strom Thurmond's desk, 2010)

Most of all, I learned that all that really matters at the end of the day is having those who care about you by your side. And they can be by your side even if you live halfway across the country. Sure it was gret that I learned all this history stuff, but it was even better learning it next to the people I learned it next to. I'm very thankful to have met each and every one of you, and I am so glad that we share such a strong bond to one another. We spent two intense years together. I got much more than a Master's degree from Clemson University. I learned much more than what I read in my books. I met people who have a very special place in my heart, and I will always remember the times we shared together. I'll remember our first tailgate, the jockey lot, Michael peeing in the sink, Civil War in Matt's basement, the keg party, Wednesday trivia, all those good times in the grad office, movie nights, Mallory's chicken pot pie, Parissa's enchilada casserole, Matt's shrimp creole, Madeleine's chicken wing dig, and Michael's bourbon. There are some nights when I have nothing to do, and I long for those days when we all would go out on a weekend, or celebrate on a weeknight after we turned in a paper for historiography. You all are the best people I ever could have met, and absolutely the best friends I could have ever found. Sure, I'm working a job a high school drop out probably could do, but I don't for a minute regret going to Clemson, because I met all of you. So thank you for sharing everything with me the past two years, and for being such wonderful friends.

(Our last tailgate, 2011)

(Ryan, Quinn, Parissa, and Michael during trivia, 2012)